Friday, 26 August 2016

DESPERATE TO UPGRADE HUSBAND?

Computers?  I love'em.  Is it that women are better than men at using them?  More patient when it comes to trouble-shooting?  I know quite a few men who leave their wives to book the holidays, print out the family photos etc.

In the early days of computers I remember the times when I needed help and the men (and there were only men) quickly high-tailed it out the office!

But this (internet) letter from our friend Bob, made me laugh!  It is Good Medicine for when you are tired of trying to bring your husband into the 21st century!


The Lady in Rosslyn Chapel Window is Prepared to Offer Up Her iPad


 
Tech Support 
Letter
  
Dear Tech Support,

 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
 


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
 


What can I do?
 


Signed, Desperate

 


Dear Desperate,

 

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

 

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.  In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.



Good Luck!



 

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

MISCELLANEOUS PICK-ME-UPS

When in need of a pick-me-up nothing does it like flowers. Here is a bouquet that Maggie made for her No. 2 son's wedding in Argyllshire last weekend.  The white heather is from my garden. 


In addition to this she made other bouquets plus posies arranged in 4 jam jars per table in the centre of the 10 tables at the reception.



This solitary sweet pea is the last of one group of sweet peas in my garden.  The peas I bought in their shells at the supermarket One of life's pleasures is sitting outside on the back step shelling peas.

And as I was needing a laugh today... here are 2 miscellaneous items that have been sitting in my 'Sandbox' awaiting the next blog to be posted.


Letter from the Tooth Fairy ... and a novel solution to an age-old problem.  However I hate to tell this mum that it never gets any better...


And finally I just love this one!  I think it came from Jane Hunter in Kelowna who sends me these from time to time. 






Tuesday, 9 August 2016

THREENAGER

I was talking to a young mum in the park behind our house recently.  When I asked her the ages of her children she said she had one who was "a threeanger"!  That was a new one on me ... a three year old who has acts and has the attitude of a teenager.

We have one of those ... her name is Harriet!  John's recent photos say it all!
 

Harriet and Indy riding on the bumper cars on holiday in Portland, Oregon.



 Harriet in downtown Portland.



Cannon Beach visit to the ice-cream factory.


 Cannon Beach
 


 The Columbia River Maritime Museum, Astoria, Oregon

Thursday, 4 August 2016

GLASGOW FLOWERS AROUND THE CITY


Sweet peas outside Cottier's Theatre, Hyndland Road


 Sweet peas in the walled garden at House for an Art Lover, Bellahouston Park

 

Memorial bouquet of roses on the bench in the walled garden
Begonias in public walkway, Cumbernauld Town Centre


Fireweed in derelict ground opposite The Tramway, Pollokshields Road


Monday, 1 August 2016

IN PRAISE OF BLUE

I like this colour of blue.  It is lapis lazuli and is seen in church painting and stain glass windows.

Kelvingrove Art Gallery examples. 


  Lapis Lazuli [Wikipedia]

In the RGB color wheel it is "azure" (Hex #007FFF)

 
From out disply coffee table collection we have ... not Lapis Lazuli ... but some Labradorite.  We obtained it nearly 50 years ago when on an mountaineering expedition in Labrador with Jim Messer.


Labradorite label side from our coffee table.

Sunday, 31 July 2016

GLASGOW GRAFFITI

Glasgow city centre was abuzz with folk demonstrating about leaving, or rather, not leaving the EU.  George Square had lots of flags and placards saying that leaving would be a daft idea; it is better to stay.  Basically they want another vote.

Last week the whole of George Square was given over to the Homeless Footbal game taking place.  That is typical of the City Fathers; none of this putting the event for disadvantaged people out in the sticks ... host it right in the city centre outside the City Chambers.

 Ignoring anything and everything going on in George Square is one of the Victorian worthies whose statue graces the Square... possibly Pitt?

This graffiti art on the end of a tenement on High Street just near the Barony Church caught my eye.

Close-up ... so clever!

Saturday, 30 July 2016

GRANDMA GOES SHOPPING

Time and fashion have passed me by. Somewhere along the line I have missed out on high street trends in clothing.  Maybe it is because when I shop I observe that most of the clothes are the style and size for 12 year olds, e.g. hipster trousers, blouses that leave half the midriff showing.
 
Be that as it may, I bought these socks recently at The House of Bruar in Perthshire.  I always thought this was a one-stop shopping 'experience' for the mature individual looking for quality cord trousers (men) and button-up cotton shirts for women ... something you might wear to the office.

They also carry Austrian and German brands which, needless to say, are Quality with a capital Q.


Well, I bought these socks (above) , Burlington brand, made in Germany. When I got home I took the card tag off by cutting the thread which was stitched in 2 places to one of the socks.  (At least it wasn't stapled.)

I then noticed that there was a stud located mid-sock ... I would call it a 'rivet' because it has a metal back to match its metal front. As shown in the photo above, it is about the size of the end of a pencil.

For the life of me I couldn't get it off.  If I used scissors it would only make a hole in it.
Before I phoned The House of Bruar to ask how I would get this bit of packaging off I decided to google the brand.  

Yes... you guessed it ... it is meant to be there! It is called a 'clip'!  Nowadays we not only have ironmongery in people's noses and every other part of the human anatomy but we also have them skewered into ... the humble sock!